Messing with Hitsugaya Toshiro's Relationships
by Chloroplast
Summary: *OLD FIC* Everyone knows about Ichigo's stubbornness but how far will he go to make Hitsugaya go out with him? /DISCONTINUED
1. Prologue

***IMPORTANT NOTE***

**This fanfiction has been permanently discontinued. I wrote this when I was in my weeaboo stage. I regret this greatly but I'm going to keep it as a souvenir! I'm not even in this fandom any more and a whole load of stuff happened, but I can safely say that I am now a much more mature writer and blah... You might have also noticed that I have changed my pen name from "Aiko Rin Sayuri" (another remnant of my weeaboo past) to "Choloroplast". I've tried to edit it throughout but I might have missed a few. Just to prove that I didn't steal this fic :P**

**Love you!**

* * *

><p><strong>Me: Apparently I need to make my disclaimers more interesting… *sigh*<strong>

**Ron: Don't worry… Last time I checked, a Ravenclaw was supposed to be witty :)**

**Me: O.o What are you doing here? This doesn't even involve you!**

**Ron: WHAT? But…**

**Me: You can do the disclaimer if you really want…**

**Ron: ^^ Yay! Chloroplast does not own Bleach, Tite Kubo does… though she does seem to rave about Hits-urk.**

**Me: *dragging an unconscious Ron out the room* That's enough.**

**(- - -)**

I was shocked. No, wait, that isn't a good enough word. _Flabbergasted_ is a better one.

"Well?" Toshiro said. "Was there anything else you came for? Or was it just to ask me out?"

"Um… no…"

"OK, if you don't mind, I have four stacks of paperwork to be handed in by this afternoon; I have no idea where Matsumoto's disappeared off to…"

I just stood there dumbfounded. Let's start this at the beginning shall we?

(- - -)

I had finally decided to confess. I couldn't bear it any more, just the thought of him…

Enough of that… I needed to work out what I wanted to say, how I wanted to phrase this. It wasn't any use, the moment I saw him, I was elated and I just gazed there, staring at his beauty.

"What do you want, Kurosaki?"

"Uh…" I managed unintelligently. "Um… I… er…"

He had put down his pen and his entire attention was focused on me. Those beautiful deep eyes…"

"Kurosaki, do you mind not standing there like a buffoon, I have other issues which need to be dealt with other than…"

His voice was so sweet and everything I had planned to say went flying out of my head faster than blinking.

"Ah…" I went on, ignoring the third seat who was also there and ogling at me like I was some sort of new specimen in Kurotsuchi's lab.

"Thank you, Tento, please take these to the 1st division." Toshiro piled a stack of paperwork onto the third seat who walked, staggering, towards the door. I glanced at Toshiro, seeing if it was to make my life easier but he remained indifferent, filling out ream after ream of paperwork.

"Toshiro…"

"Hitsugaya-taicho." He corrected automatically. I ignored him.

"I was thinking the other day… well, I love you and you know… I think you may feel the same and wouldyouliketogooutwithme?"

"Sorry?" I could tell that he had heard me the first time; he just wanted to confirm what I had said. Was that amusement on his face? Mustering up the last dregs of my courage, I asked again:

"Will you go out with me?"

I stood there, hopefully, like an idiot.

"Sorry, Kurosaki, I'm going out with Hinamori."

(- - -)

"… then I have to go somewhere with Hinamori, she hasn't told me where we'll be going yet so… I'm guessing that it's that fancy restaurant in Junrinan which gives free watermelon… Kurosaki, are you all right?" His voice was concerned.

My mouth opened and closed with a weird sighing noise before my vocal chords decide to come back to life.

"Yeah… I'll be fine… yeah… well I'll be going now…"

I walked out of the office and closed the door. Then I sank to the ground. Toshiro was _mine_! No one could take him from me. That's when I decided I would overcome any obstacle. I took out a notepad and a (rather chewed) pencil.

I write the date and underline it neatly. What was I going to write?" Then it came to me. With an evil grin which rivalled Rangiku's, I write:

_Ways to mess up Hitsugaya Toshiro's relationship_.

**(- - -)**

**I had this idea suddenly… I could just see it happening, Hitsugaya, stubborn and unwilling, Ichigo, jealous and overprotective…**

**:) Enjoy!**

**Mwhahaha… Fairly obvious what's going to happen.**

**See ya! x**


	2. Hinamori

**Me: I managed to kidnap a special guest to do the disclaimer *evil laugh***

**Hitsugaya: WHAT AM I DOING HERE?**

**Me: I don't know… you agreed to this yesterday!^^**

**Hitsugaya: Only 'cause you were annoying the hell out of me!**

**Me: Oh… that… annoying people is my speciality! *smug look***

**Hitsugaya: You're worse than Kusajishi. *pause* Or even Matsumoto! I have to go and do my paperwork now…**

**Me: Not so fast! Say the disclaimer.**

**Hitsugaya: Chloroplast does not own Bleach (or me, thank goodness; who knows what she might do to me if she did) but she does own this story. She doesn't own the song Hot 'n' Cold either… it's there for some reason. It belongs to Katy Perry. There. Can I go now?**

**Me: Mayyyyyyyybe…**

**Ron: She likes you!**

**Hitsugaya: O.o *does a runner***

**Me: I thought I knocked you out? Oi, midget, come back!**

**(- - -)**

I had approached Renji after Toshiro demanding for him to seal my reiatsu with kido.

He looked almost as shocked as I had felt when Toshiro had rejected my offer.

"Um… sure… I'm warning you though… I'm not the best person at kido…"

After many explosions which rocked 6th division, Byakuya came charging out of his office, face scarier than a sabre toothed tiger.

"What are you doing?" he asked coldly.

Good point… What was I doing? (The last kido Renji had performed had stunned me.)

"We were just… um… practising my kido… er…" Renji seemed scared.

"While it would be good for you to improve your kido, Abarai, I don't see what demolishing my office has to do with anything." He swung the door wide open and we could see that the bookcases had all tumbled down, crushing the desk. Several bottles of ink had cracked open onto the paperwork which was strewn across the floor.

"That…" He deflated like a puffer fish. "Um… Ichigo…"

"I don't see what Kurosaki has to do with the damage caused. Go to thirteenth. Ukitake-taicho and the third seats are out on a mission, I'm sure they wouldn't mind stray kido blasting their company to pieces. Just keep away from the bonsai."

"H-hai…"

"Oh and Abarai," Byakuya turned with something which looked suspiciously like a smirk on his face. "When you're done with the practice, you can fix my office with your new found talent."

Renji sank to the floor. "Don't come near me… Go and dig my grave… I'm screwed…"

(- - -)

I sniggered as I recalled how I had to go to Rukia instead. Then I heard voices.

"Where are we going? Is it that restaurant in Junrinan?"

"Maybe…" I heard her laugh and hate her for it. How dare she flirt with _my _Toshiro? I growled. My stomach growled. Oops.

They stopped right outside my hiding place.

"Did you hear something?" I heard my angel say.

"Um… no… Anyway, Shiro-chan…"

"Hitsugaya-taicho," he replied.

"Whatever…"

Their voices moved into the distance. I crept along after them, stiffening when a twig snapped. I was lucky; I kept a reasonable distance behind them both. Unfortunately my luck ran out when I ran into a very drunk Rangiku and co.

"Strawberry!"

I was stuck. I ran for it, hoping against hope that Toshiro and his… his _girlfriend_ hadn't noticed me.

(- - -)

Finally, they stopped walking. We'd turned so many times that if I needed to make my fast getaway back to the Seireitei, I'm sure I couldn't find it.

"I told you it'd be that restaurant."

My heart stopped. Had he noticed me? Then I realised he was only talking to Momo.

I tried to be inconspicuous, sliding in through the door.

"Good evening sir." I jumped, a waiter was holding out his hand.

"Good evening." I shake his hand.

"Um, sir… your coat?"

"Oh right!" Blushing, I struggle out of my jacket, knocking over several chairs in the process. Half the restaurant turned to stare in my direction. I shoot a frantic glance at Toshiro. Luckily he was immersed in his menu and did not see me.

(- - -)

Half an hour later, I was seated close to Toshiro. Comfortably close so that I could hear what was being said but not too close that he would see me.

"Here's your food, sir. Anything else?"

"Um… no thanks," I replied, not really paying attention, straining my ears to listen to every word of their conversation.

"Shiro-chan! You've been staring at the pepper mill for 5 minutes now… Are you sure you're all right?"

"Hmm… I hope Matsumoto's doing the share of paperwork I left for her; I really didn't have time to finish it all…"

"There's been quite a lot recently, after, you know, the whole incident with Amagai…"

Toshiro snorted. "But at least you don't have to do _two_ sets of paperwork!"

That's when the plan came to me. It was so amazing I was shocked I hadn't thought of it before. Sneaking up behind them, I cleared my throat.

"You know Toshiro, I've been thinking… I know a reason why you shouldn't go out with _her_."

"Kurosaki, what are you doing?" he hissed.

"Just listen and watch."

Then turning back to them both (Hinamori looked terrified), I cleared my throat once more to get the attention of the restaurant.

"Hey, look mummy; it's that crazy man we saw earlier!"

I felt a slight stab of annoyance then worry. If this didn't work… Hell with that! I open my mouth and begin to sing.

"Cause you're hot then you're cold

You're yes then you're no

You're in then you're out

You're up then you're down

You're wrong when it's right

It's black and it's white

We fight, we break up

We kiss, we make up

(you) You don't really want to stay, no

(but you) But you don't really want to go-o

You're hot then you're cold

You're yes then you're no

You're in then you're out

You're up then you're down…"

Toshiro was fuming with every word I sang, the restaurant was laughing, Hinamori was in tears.

_Mission: Ruin Toshiro's date._

_Status: Success._

"KUROSAKI!"

**(- - -)**

**Don't get me wrong, I love HitsuHina! (Unlike some people who dissed both Hitsugaya and Hinamori. *fume* Unforgivable!)**

**Next would either be HitsuMatsu or HitsuRuki :)**


	3. Matsumoto

**Me: So here we are again… back where we started with no one to do the disclaimer apart from me.**

**Ron: I could do it. ^^**

**Me: This fanfiction doesn't include you AT ALL. Besides it was YOUR fault that Hitsu-chan escaped so unless you want me to unleash my bankai on you, I suggest you keep your mouth SHUT. *Glares* Ooh… Is that Ichigo I see outside?^^ *insert fangirl scream of any description here***

**(runs outside to knock Ichigo out with bankai)**

**Ron: All right^^ while she's gone… Chloroplast does not own Bleach or me or Thornton's chocolate (Tite Kubo, JK Rowling and Thornton(?) do)**

**Me: You idiot! YOU STOLE ICHIGO'S JOB!**

**Ron: Ahh… I'd better get going…**

**(- - -)**

I skipped merrily to Toshiro's office, hoping, _knowing_ that he'd accept my offer this time. After all, I had destroyed any chance of his continuing dating with Momo. I'd also accidentally-on-purpose let slip her obsession to the restaurant. They won't be dating back in Rukongai in a hurry! It was Valentine's day, the perfect day…

"Toshiro~"

I slid open the door to find, to my horror, Toshiro giving a box of Thornton's chocolate to his lieutenant.

"Kurosaki, what do you want?"

"Umm… Uh…"

I found that once again, I was unable to talk.

"I was going to ask you o-"

"After what you did to mine and Momo's date. Absolutely not." He smirked. "Besides, too bad, I'm going out with Matsumoto."

She gave me a little wave and proceeded to feed _my_ Toshiro a chocolate.

Fuming, I stormed out. So this was how it was, eh?

_Mission: Ruin Hitsugaya Toshiro's relationship._

(- - -)

"Ikkaku!"

He turned around to find me, perched on the roof of a building.

"Oh, Ichigo, hey! Long time no see; Zarakai-taicho is itching to fight you again…"

"Aahh… Could that wait?" I asked hastily, before I could get dragged into some crazy (lethal) fight with a fighting-obsessed maniac.

"Sure." He shrugged, offhand. "Want to go to the bar. I'm dead bored."

That's when I was hit with an idea worthy of Einstein.

"OK, mind if I get a couple of people? I mean, it would be kind of boring with just me and you-"

"And me." Put in Yumichika quickly.

"Ye-e-e-s… so while you two sort out your hair… I mean…" I'd caught the poisonous look Ikkaku was giving me. "While _Yumichika _sorts out his hair, I'll go and fetch some people…"

And I knew just who to fetch.

(- - -)

"Rangiku!" I burst through the doors, flattening the third seat, and spilling paperwork everywhere.

"Kurosaki! What have you got against my third seat?"

I ignored him. "Renji and Ikkaku are in the pub and they say that if you go now, they'll both treat you to a free round of all-you-can-drink sake."

She was tempted, I could tell. Toshiro was quietly seething in his chair.

"Shunsui and Izuru both said that if you're super quick, then they'll treat you too."

In actual fact, none of them had ever agreed and I could imagine them impaling me on the ends of their zanpakuto. But for now… _Say yes, just say yes_…

"Um… Toshiro…"

"Hitsugaya-taicho. And if you go to the bar, I will dump you here and now… Rangiku? Damn it!"

The door had been flung open and Rangiku was missing. _Status: success._

"So… Toshi-"

"No. Go away and get out my sight Kurosaki."

Cursing I storm out of the office.

_Mission: Ask Toshiro out._

_Status: failed._

A hand grabbed me and pulled me into the shadows.

"What the heck did you tell her?" It was Ikkaku.

"She's made me broke! Renji, Izuru and Kyoraku-taicho aren't too pleased either. You have 10 seconds to repeat to me exactly or I will impale you on the end of Hozukimaru."

"Um… Ahh… That…"

**(- - -)**

**HitsuRuki next :)**


	4. Rukia

**Me: I'll give the line thing another shot… If it doesn't work… Though I****_did_****manage to lock Hitsu and Ichi in a room together *presses ear to door***

**Hitsugaya: Oi… You, crazy fangirl… you gonna let us out anytime soon?**

**Me: How did you know I was here?**

**Hitsugaya: Reiatsu dummy…**

**Me: I'll only let you out if you say the disclaimer…**

**Ichigo: Who?**

**Me: Any ^^**

***mad scuffle is heard***

**Ichigo: And if we don't? Toshiro tells me that you promised him the same thing…**

**Me: Your loss… I have the only key and the door can't be opened by kido either…**

***swearing***

**Ichigo: Chloroplast does not own Bleach or Ice Ice Baby. Tite Kubo and Vanilla Ice do. Now let us out.**

***silence***

**Ichigo: Oi!**

**Hitsugaya: It's no good; she's probably in Paris by now.**

I decided to go to Rukia's for advice. Unhappily, Toshiro had declined… again. I prepared to slide open the door when I hear noises emitting from inside. Noises which I do not want to remember. Then suddenly they stopped.

"Hey, Rukia…"

"Yes…"

"There's something I've always wanted to tell you…"

My heart constricted in fear. What was he going to say? Admitting his love for her?

"That…"

He paused. Something was bugging him, I could tell. Anxiously I probed into the room with my (wild, untameable and easily-detected) reiatsu.

"That Kurosaki is outside listening to every word we say."

I crept silently along the floor, hoping to escape his wrath, but to no avail.

BOOM.

"H-hey… Toshiro… I can explain!"

I give him a piteous look. "Please!"

"OK. Make it quick and good. Rukia and I are going somewhere."

"I… er… was… um… visiting…"

His glare put me off. It spelt strawberry flavoured ice lolly.

"I'm waiting, _for your explanation_."

"Um…"

This was the end… of my life…

Well… almost! Rukia, it seemed was as annoyed as Toshiro and decided to take matters into her own hands. Luckily her method was a lot less severe and I got off with frost in my hair and ice making my clothes sound like they were made of tin.

_Rustle, clank, thump._

That was me moving down the hall as quietly as possible in my ice sodden robes.

_Stomp, clatter, smash_.

That was me clomping down the stairs.

Just to cheer myself up, I sing softly.

"_Ice ice baby_

_Ice ice baby_

_All right stop_

_Collaborate and listen_

_Ice is back with my brand new invention_

_Something grabs a hold of me tightly_

_Then I flow that a harpoon daily and nightly_

_Will it ever stop?_

_Yo, I don't know_

_Turn off the lights and I'll glow_

_To the extreme I rock a mic like a vandal_

_Light up a stage and wax a chump like a candle."_

How was I to know that Toshiro was right behind me? How was I to know that he would take offence at it? And last of all, how was I to know that I would be frozen? Again?

Rukia was fuming in the background.

"Hitsugaya-taicho! If you think this is your idea of funny, then I don't think that you'd be worth an ounce of my attention! I'm leaving! No wonder your other relationships were over in five seconds flat!"

With that, she stormed towards her barracks. She turned and screamed across the courtyard at me:

"And thanks for ruining my date!"

I blinked, clearing as much ice as possible. "Well… so… Toshiro… want to…"

"No. Go away."

"Really I don't care what you do…"

"I said _go away_!"

For the third time that day, I found myself encased in ice.

_Darn it._

_Mission: Separate Toshiro and Rukia_

_Status: Success_

… and now to more pressing matters at hand.

(- - -)

_5 hours later_

_Mission: Free myself from ice._

_Status: failed._

**(- - -)**

**Sorry it's so short but I was panicking cause I couldn't upload it then my parents told me to drop fanfiction and there was a whooooooole load of other stuff which was piling up!**

**I'll try my best for the next chapter! ^^**


	5. Isane

**I DO NOT OWN BLEACH!**

**(Couldn't get anyone to do it for me…)**

**Mwahahaha… I'm back (after a stressful week(s) and piles of overdue homework). My organisation is like Matsumoto's therefore I have lost my beloved memory stick with all my plans, fanfiction chapters and records on. Hooray.**

**(- - -)**

OK… here is the story of how, I, Ichigo Kurosaki ended up in an ice block for the fourth time this week.

I didn't do anything wrong (OK… not by my standards anyway…) but even fourth company have point blank refused to help with my frost bite or even to melt me.

This is because, once upon a time…

(- - -)

I bounded into Toshiro's office. This time I was sure that I had won. I mean… who else could he have gone out with?

Rangiku was currently dating Hisagi, Hinamori had been asked out by Izuru the day before and everyone could see that Renji was infatuated with Rukia despite Byakuya's disapproval.

So imagine my shock when a woman with silver hair and an extremely tall figure stepped out of the office. Isane Kotetsu.

I recognised her immediately, I mean, how many women are 6 foot 2" with silver hair and weird plait thingies on one side of her face?

But what I was really shocked about was _the height difference_!

There's Toshiro who's a midget, looks about 12 with height desirable of a nine year old… then there's Isane…

I'm not saying she's ugly… don't get me wrong, it was just a very unlikely match.

Toshiro was shooting me icy glares as if daring me to say anything. After a terse silence he said:

"Kotetsu was delivering paperwork."

"Oh." I managed.

Then, "So are you free to go out with me on Saturday?"

He seems smug, triumphant even.

"I've got paperwork from Isane to do on Saturday."

"Monday?"

"Same thing."

Hmm… something was definitely up between those two and I was determined to find out what.

And so, with James Bond music ringing in my ears, I decided to poke around. The paperwork was normal, nothing much or nothing special. Just reams and reams of mundane work to be signed or approved.

"If you don't mind, Kurosaki, but what in Seireitei are you doing?"

"I... um… well… you know I thought you were going out and with Isane-san."

I fully expected him to deny this and freeze me again; what I was not expecting was the lowering of his head, a blush and unintelligible mumbling which is actually what happened.

"You're going out with Isane-san?"

"What's wrong with that?" he demanded, blush still lingering in his cheeks.

"It's just… you know… the height difference is astounding…"

"And you're trying to imply…" Toshiro looked at me like he was going to tear me apart. I'm actually not kidding; I actually saw his hand twitch towards his zanpakuto.

"Nothing… nothing…" I mutter.

"Taicho! It means he thinks you're short and cute ~"

Matsumoto! Dammit! I look over at the table; she's drunk and obviously itched for the moment to take her revenge against me.

Toshiro didn't even notice her; just the words 'cute' and 'short'.

"I mean... I bet Isane thinks that too..."

And for the hundredth time in my life, I embraced death like a friend.

(- - -)

Unfortunately, Isane had heard me mention her height and as she is very sensitive about it, fourth company have point blank refused to treat me for frostbite… and I can't exactly go into the world of the living hospitals either to be treated for frostbite as it is the middle of summer. What would the doctor's think I was doing? Playing hide and seek in the freezer?

And as my fingers turned black and my hair sadly drooped, Renji busted me out. He was apparantely, happy with me for ruining any chance of Rukia's other relationships and decided to help. Unfortunately, the stray kido singed me. So I came out looking like a zombie who'd been struck by lightning.

_Mission: Ruin Toshiro's relationship._

_Status: success._

**(- - -)**

**I found my memory stick in the end.**


	6. Soi Fon

**Me: SORRY! :'( I WAS SO BUSY! Got back from China, had a grade 8 piano exam and a concert. (Carmina Burana, please take the time to listen to the whole thing, it is AMAZING!) So here is my long-awaited (I wish) sixth chapter of Messing with Toshiro Hitsugaya's relationships.**

**I do not own Bleach. Anything else? No? Good.**

**(- - -)**

I. Want. Toshiro.

There. In three words, my entire existence has just been summed up.

Oh yes, I realise that this is one of the hardest tasks I have ever set myself and will require the most motivation but hopefully, I will get my motivation at the end of it all. (Cough. Unmentionable things. Cough)

And so I persist.

(- - -)

Soi Fong is NOT someone I want to tangle with. Her fat fukutaicho is also someone I would not normally go to great lengths to make myself acquainted with either.

So, Toshiro deciding to hook up with this woman was certainly a smart move. I mean… who am I to trifle with the power of this taicho who almost defeated the Flash Goddess? Ichigo Kurosaki that's who! And my first move was made to checkmate the king of the board.

(- - -)

"Oi… Yoruichi-san –oof!"

Well, I'd got her out here even if it did mean getting booted in the stomach.

"Shh… Urahara's sleeping."

I picked myself, grumbling under my breath and she knocked me back into the dust.

"What was that for?"

"I told you to be quiet!"

"I was hardly –"

She grabbed by my hair and pulled me forwards.

"Listen here, sunshine, I tell you to be quiet, so SHUT THE HELL UP!"

I neglected to tell her that she was shouting at the top of her lungs.

"Well, well, what's going on here? It's OK, Yoruichi-san, I'm awake now."

Yoruichi shot me a glare which clearly read _you are sooooooo dead._

I rolled my eyes. NOTHING has changed.

I used to feel sorry for Ganju for his sister was a temperamental beast. But when I learnt that Yoruichi was staying nearby and that her temper was as bad if not worse than Kukaku Shiba's…

"What do you want Ichigo? Make it quick… I'm visiting Soi Fong today."

Perfect.

"Yoruichi-san, did you hear about Soi Fon's new boyfriend?"

Yoruichi mouthed the words "Soi Fon" and "boyfriend".

Then she laughed.

"Who? What? When? Don't be a baka, Soi Fon's a member of the punishment force… she wouldn't… bet you 1000 kan…"

Here was my chance to earn money too!

"'Kay."

(- - -)

Next morning Yoruichi silently handed me a cheque.

I'd learnt that Soi Fon had been dumped after a show of over exuberant affection to Yoruichi had embarrassed Toshiro.

Oh yes.

**(- - -)**

**Allow me to consult my list of who to do next…**


End file.
